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Transcripts/The Point of No Return
:zoom :Spike: Whoa! :thud! :Spike: Twilight, mail's here! :opening :Twilight Sparkle: gasps :squeak :Twilight Sparkle: Are you all right? :Derpy: We just had a really heavy delivery today. :Spike: Is it a deluxe set of special edition Ogres & Oubliettes figurines that I'm totally surprised by and have been hinting that I need forever? :Derpy: Well, it's for Twilight. :Spike: Awww... :Twilight Sparkle: Thank you. :Derpy: You're welcome! :Twilight Sparkle: Huh. It's from Princess Celestia. :Spike: belches So is this. Really? She couldn't have put it into the box? :Twilight Sparkle: reading "My dearest Twilight, I have been conducting a thorough cleaning of the castle, and I came across a few items of yours in your old room. I thought you might want them back." I didn't even know I'd left anything! Awww, look! Remember this? It's the macaroni picture frame Cadance helped me make when I was a filly! :Spike: sarcastic Who could forget a masterpiece like that? :Twilight Sparkle: My G1 Star Swirl figure! And some of my favorite school scrolls! And here's my extra extra credit report on "The Impediments of Using Magic in Everyday Chores"! Ha! Still so true! :Spike: Is my Smash Fortune comic in there? I've been looking for that for years. Whoa, whoa! :thud :Spike: muffled Or this. :Twilight Sparkle: Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! :Spike: What's wrong? It just looks like an old library book. :Twilight Sparkle: Exactly! It belongs to the Canterlot Library! That means it's... overdue! : :Twilight Sparkle: You don't understand, Spike! I have a perfect library book return record! :Spike: throat Had a perfect record. :Twilight Sparkle: groans I've never turned in a book even a minute late! And this one has been overdue since I left for Ponyville! :stamping :Dusty Pages: Make sure you bring this one back on time. We've got a long waiting list of ponies who can't wait to read it. :Twilight Sparkle: I promise I won't let you down! :Dusty Pages: Oh, of course, you won't, dear. If there's anypony I can trust to take care of a book, it's you, Twilight Sparkle. After all, you still hold the "Best Book Borrower" title. :Twilight Sparkle: Oooh! I hope I do forever! :Twilight Sparkle: Spi-ike! Quick, find me that old copy of Predictions and Prophecies. What's that for? :Spike: Well, it was a gift for Moon Dancer, but... :Twilight Sparkle: Oh, Spike, you know we don't have time for that sort of thing. :Twilight Sparkle: And then Celestia sent me to Ponyville, and I forgot all about this! Dusty Pages prided herself that no books were damaged or lost on her watch, and I failed her! I failed myself! :Spike: I take it we're going to Canterlot? :zip! :Spike: groans The sooner, the better, I guess. :Twilight Sparkle: gasps :rustling :Spike: Uh, why are we hiding? Don't you wanna return your book? :Twilight Sparkle: Yes. But what if somepony sees me in there? I'm the Princess of Friendship. Everywhere I go, ponies recognize me. I'll stick out like a sore hoof. :Spike: incredulously Princess Twilight Sparkle in a library? Stop the presses! :Twilight Sparkle: A late book is a big deal, Spike. What if Dusty Pages revokes my library card? Or bans me from ever entering the building again?! :Spike: Don't you already have most of those books in your collection at home? :Twilight Sparkle: Yes, but the ones in there have a special Canterlot Library-y smell! :Spike: You sniff books? :Twilight Sparkle: You don't? I used to live in a library. If I'm not a good example of proper book borrowing behavior, then what kind of princess am I? :Spike: One that makes mistakes like everypony else. Trust me. Once you return that book, you'll feel way better. :Twilight Sparkle: Thanks, Spike. Let's go! giggles nervously :Spike: groans :zaps :Twilight Sparkle: clears throat, deep voice I have a book to return. :Librarian Pony: Princess Twilight! So good to see you! :Twilight Sparkle: groans :Librarian Pony: Need some recommendations from the new release section? :Twilight Sparkle: gasps Is that the new edition of Mooncurve's Seven Theories on Bending Time? I have been waiting for the release sin— Uh, I mean, uh, no books today! chuckles Thanks! :gasp :Twilight Sparkle: But I do need to speak with Dusty Pages about a... throat sensitive matter. :Librarian Pony: Dusty who? :Twilight Sparkle: laugh Dusty Pages? The head librarian? She's worked here forever. :Librarian Pony: I'm sorry, princess. I don't know her. Now, was there some other way I can help the library's Best Book Borrower? :Twilight Sparkle: giggle :Spike: hushed Just ask where to return an overdue book! It's no big deal! It happens all the time! :Twilight Sparkle: hushed Not to me it doesn't! sighs Fine. Fine! Oh, no! I didn't even think about the late fine! A book out this long will probably cost a thousand bits! :Spike: She— I mean, we have an overdue book. :Librarian Pony: laughs Well, that's no problem at all. In fact, it happens all the time. :Spike: See? :Librarian Pony: I'll just find it in the card catalog. Uh, number one-eight-nine-oh-five, got it! laughs Oh, wow. Yeesh. I haven't seen a book this late in... well, ever. throat You need to go and see First Folio in the Grossly Overdue Book Return Office for Ponies Who Should Know Better. :Twilight Sparkle: Don't pull any punches with those names, do you? :Spike: And that office would be...? :Librarian Pony: In the basement. whispering Because of the shame. :thud :Spike: Whoa. strains Looks like nopony ever goes down here. :Twilight Sparkle: Nopony except undependable rule-breakers who deserve all the horrors this hallway holds! :Spike: And faithful dragon companions. Uh... hey! It looks like First Folio left a note on the door! :Twilight Sparkle: "Abandon hope, all ye who enter"? :Spike: reading "Out to lunch on Restaurant Row." Guess we'll have to try back later! :Twilight Sparkle: No! I can't wait another minute to return this book! In the time it took us to get there, I racked up another... seventeen bits in late fees! We're going to lunch! :Spike: Good, 'cause I'm starving! lips :beat :Spike: Oh. You mean to find First Folio. Can we at least get takeout?! :Twilight Sparkle: Tell me if you see any librarian-type ponies. :Spike: Twilight, we tried this at three other restaurants already! :Twilight Sparkle: And my late fines are already up another twenty-six more bits! :Spike: mock-sobbing :Pretzel: Waiter, we're ready to order. :Spike: Oh, uh, I'm not actually— :Pretzel: Three samosas, two curry specials... Do you think that's enough for the two of us? :Spike: Hm. Well, I would probably order some naan as well. For the table? :Pretzel: Sounds great. :Moon Dancer: Twilight? Is that you? :Twilight Sparkle: Moon Dancer! How've you been? I'm just visiting. No real reason. Heh. :Moon Dancer: Well, it's good to see you! I'm just meeting my friend, First Folio, for lunch. Do you want to join us? :Twilight Sparkle: First Folio?! Yes! I mean, thank you. :First Folio: Princess Twilight, good to meet you! Did you know your picture is still up in our library as the Best Book Borrower? :Twilight Sparkle: Yeah... I was hoping I could talk to Dusty Pages about that. :Moon Dancer: Oh, Dusty Pages left the library moons ago. Didn't you know? :Twilight Sparkle: Mm-mm. :First Folio: Oh, I heard she was forced to leave. It's so sad. She loved the library. :Twilight Sparkle: Wait. Forced to leave? :First Folio: Yuh-huh, uh-huh, yeah. She had a perfect librarian record. Until one careless pony didn't return a book, ruined it all. :Moon Dancer: Are you okay, Twilight? :Twilight Sparkle: nervously Uh-huh. Would, uh, you excuse me? :whoosh :spinning :Spike: That's why you only order spicy if you can take it. Twilight, what's wrong? :Twilight Sparkle: Dusty Pages isn't working at the library any more because I'' didn't return this book! Spike, I think ''I got her fired! :skids :Spike: Twilight, the library is that way! :Twilight Sparkle: Change of plans. We're going to Dusty's house. She used to invite me over for tea all the time. :Spike: But what about your late fees? :Twilight Sparkle: They're not as important as making things right. :Spike: Wait. So you're not going to return the book? :Twilight Sparkle: No. Dusty Pages is. It's my fault she lost her job. So if I give her the book, she can get her old job back. It'll fix everything! sighs :knocking :opens :Meathead Pony: Didn't you see the sign? No salesponies! :Twilight Sparkle: Oh, I'm not selling anything. :Meathead Pony: No carolers either. No surveys, no petitions, no free literature... :thud :Twilight Sparkle: No problem. I'm just looking for somepony who used to live here. I'm pretty sure this was her house. :Meathead Pony: Dusty Pages? :Twilight Sparkle: Yes! :Meathead Pony: Hold on. She moved to... Silver somethin'. Shoals, Seas, Surfer, whatever. When you find her, give her this. :thud :Meathead Pony: It's been stackin' up for years! And tell her to change her address! :slams :music :knocking :squeaking :Twilight Sparkle: reading "Silver Stable Community: For the best golden years." This has to be it! :Spike: I hope so. It's the last "Silver" spot on the map we haven't looked. :opens :Spike: straining gasps Whoa! This place is— :Twilight Sparkle: Terrible, I know! There's not a single bookshelf in sight! :Sand Trap: snoring :Twilight Sparkle: Poor Dusty... receptionist Excuse me! :"Teddie Safari": Yes, how may I help you? :Twilight Sparkle: Do you have a resident named Dusty Pages? :"Teddie Safari": Oh, yes. Her apartment is in the next complex, ground floor. :Twilight Sparkle: Thank you! :Twilight Sparkle: I can't believe that my carelessness sent her here, when she could be happily surrounded by millions of wonderful-smelling books! :Spike: You realize that might just be a you thing, right? :Twilight Sparkle: gasps There she is! Here we go. exhales :knocking :pause :ticking :Twilight Sparkle: groans :Spike: She's bound to be back soon. Maybe we should just wait here. :Twilight Sparkle: No. We are fixing this now. This place isn't that big. We can find her. :Twilight Sparkle: Sorry to interrupt your plein air painting, but we're looking for Dusty Pages. Have you seen her? :Apple Rose: Sure have! :beat :Twilight Sparkle: sighs And...? :Apple Rose: She had to leave early to get to her fengbi de ti session. :Old Stallion: Which is right before she leads the woodworking class with me. Then she's on to windsurfing. :Apple Rose: Ooh, and don't forget theatre rehearsal! Dusty's playing the lead role. Again. :Old Stallion: Then there's her band practice later. :Twilight Sparkle: Thank you! :Spike: Wow. Dusty sounds like one busy pony. :Twilight Sparkle: Oh, she's just filling her days with distractions to cover the pain of losing the best job ever! But not for long! :music :swinging :zap :tapping :shuts and opens :splash :splashes :opens :opens :playing music :Twilight Sparkle: Dusty Pages, finally! Come on, Spike! :Spike: Wait. She looks pretty happy up there. :Twilight Sparkle: Trust me, it's all an act. She'll be a lot happier when I deliver the news that she can go back to working at the library! :abruptly stops :Twilight Sparkle: Care to take five, everypony? :Dusty Pages: Ah! Twilight Sparkle?! My stars! It's so wonderful to see you! What are you doing here? :Twilight Sparkle: I've been looking all over Equestria for you! :thud :Twilight Sparkle: I need to tell you something. :Dusty Pages: Well, you brought my mail! Oh, thank you! chuckles :Twilight Sparkle: No. I mean, yes, we did, but that's not why we're here. I let you down, and I can't forgive myself until I set things right. :Dusty Pages: I don't remember you doing anything wrong. :Twilight Sparkle: You told me to take care of a special book I checked out from the Canterlot Library, and I never brought it back! :Dusty Pages: gasps It was you that had that book out? The one that broke my perfect record? :Twilight Sparkle: But now you can bring it to Canterlot Library and get your job back! :Dusty Pages: No, thank you! I don't ever need to see that library again! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be. :playing music :Spike: fingers :Twilight Sparkle: Do you mind? :pauses, continues softly :Spike: slurping :Twilight Sparkle: I don't understand. If Dusty Pages won't go back to Canterlot Library and explain everything, then she won't be able to get her job back. Even worse, her record will remain imperfect! :Spike: And yours will, too? :Twilight Sparkle: Well, yeah! But that doesn't matter any more! :Spike: dryly Really? :Twilight Sparkle: Well, maybe a little bit. Oh, no, bits! The late fines! How much do I owe now?! :clicking :Spike: Uhhh... you don't wanna know. :Twilight Sparkle: groans It would've been worth all the bits in Equestria if I had made things right with Dusty! I wish I knew why she won't go back! :Spike: Why don't you ask her? :Twilight Sparkle: She didn't seem to want to talk. :Spike: You surprised her, and she probably had something else on her schedule. That thing is packed! Come on. What have you got to lose? :Twilight Sparkle: Now that I've messed up this much? Nothing. You're right, Spike. It's worth a try. Where do you think she went? Crochet? Bingo? :splat :Twilight Sparkle: A squishy fruit food-fight tournament?! :splats :Spike: Hey, everypony! We come in— :splat :Spike: Eh, pieces. :splats :zap :splats :Twilight Sparkle: Stop! We just want to talk to Dusty Pages for a moment! Please? :Dusty Pages: Time out! Twilight Next time, you should rent gear. :Spike: We're not actually here for the game. :Twilight Sparkle: I was hoping you'd give me another chance to talk to you about the library book. :Dusty Pages: sighs This really means a lot to you, doesn't it? :Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hmm. I know I ruined your life by not returning my book on time, and I will do anything I can to make it up to you. Even promise to never take a book out of a library again, if that's what it takes. :gasp :Dusty Pages: laughs :Spike: That is not the reaction we expected. :Dusty Pages: Twilight, dear, you've got it all backwards! I'm not upset with you! :Twilight Sparkle: You're not? :Dusty Pages: No! If I'm mad at anypony, it's me. :tapping :Dusty Pages: All those years I spent hiding away in that library, trying to be perfect. When your book never came in, I felt something exhilarating! :Twilight Sparkle: What was it? :Dusty Pages: Freedom. :Spike: From books? :Dusty Pages: From perfection! I was too stubborn to know when to call it quits! It took your mistake to make me realize that I wasn't living the life I wanted! :Twilight Sparkle: You mean you weren't fired? You left the library because you wanted to? :Dusty Pages: Twilight, your late book was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now I'm not afraid to try things I might fail at. In fact, sometimes messing up teaches me more than getting it right! :Twilight Sparkle: You're sure you don't want to return it and get that perfect record back? :splat :Twilight Sparkle: scream :Dusty Pages: Ah, good. It was a yellow one. You can still see the words. :Twilight Sparkle: But it'll have a stain! :Dusty Pages: That doesn't change the truth inside it. Wait. Did you even read that thing? :Twilight Sparkle: Actually, uh, no, I guess I didn't. :splat :Twilight Sparkle: reading "Perfection". :Dusty Pages: And the next part? :Twilight Sparkle: reading "The Impossible Pursuit". :Spike and Dusty Pages: laughing :Twilight Sparkle: Oh. That might've been useful to look at earlier. :First Folio: Uh-huh... Your total late fees come to... :Twilight Sparkle: However much it is, I'll cover it. Uh, do you have a monthly payment plan? :First Folio: Twenty-eight bits. :Twilight Sparkle and Spike: gasps :Spike: That's it?! :First Folio: Yah-huh. Most ponies don't know that it caps at a month. Probably 'cause we don't tell them. snorts :clinking :First Folio: Thank you. Your account is back to normal. Although we will be taking down your Best Book Borrower picture. :Twilight Sparkle: Um, is that really necessary? Heh. It just seems so permanent. Heh. I mean, I did return the book, after all. :Spike: throat :Twilight Sparkle: Okay. Letting the perfection go. sighs You want me to reshelve this for you? :First Folio: No, it's an old edition. We've already replaced it with a new copy. :Spike: In that case, can we keep it? It might be a good reminder to have around. :First Folio: You sure? It's got a stain. :Twilight Sparkle: That's what makes it perfect. :credits